For years I didn’t believe that I was creative. I saw so many people around me creating beauty with their hands, a paint brush, clay, a pencil, in their kitchen, and through their businesses. I saw creativity everywhere. I wished, longed for and dreamed of being creative, yet nothing ever seemed to unfold as I imagined.
There was however, one place where time stood still and I could lose myself. It often happened early in the morning or late at night. Then I found it happening after I’d worked with a client or overcome a challenge. This place was in the pages of my journals. Often my pen could not keep up with the steam of thoughts that flowed from my mind, down my arm, into my hand and finally upon the pages. At times I’d read the words I’d written and wonder where they came from.
But then like a sunset slowly disappearing beneath the horizon, the connection between my inner world and my pen would disappear. And once again, I would find myself wishing, longing and dreaming of being fully immersed in a world of creative words.
I’ve found that allowing my words to flow freely, has given me the freedom to forgive, heal and grow. It’s not that I have spoken these words to my rivals and given them the gift of forgiveness. I have simply written about what occurred and in doing so, uncovered the truth of why I have found myself in these situations. It is awareness that has allowed me to forgive, myself. And as I let go of the shame, the pain and the sorrow, I heal and I grow too.
Sometimes when I’m upset or triggered, I grab my pen and journal. As my thoughts pour out, the pages I fill, become damp with tears of frustration. The more I write, the less I cry and everything becomes clearer. It’s as if with each word written, my mind and body is emptied and then replenished with newfound awareness and optimism.
I’ve found that writing about my hopes and dreams, allows me to imagine so much more than if I kept my wishes locked within my mind. As my pen flows across the page, excitement bubbles up within my belly, rises and unlocks my heart and from this space my mind is wide open, to so many possibilities.
Yes maybe there is a chance that creativity hasn’t bypassed me, because to believe that I am not creative, is to dismiss, the awareness, the healing and the growth, which has unfolded, as I’ve honoured the words that rise up to be heard.
